How to get over a divorce or breakup:

Any loss, if it be by death, divorce, breakup, etc. requires time for grieving and healing. It is important to allow yourself time to feel your feelings and work through them. Being focused on the present, figuring out who you are now and where you want to be in the future can assist in regaining a since of purpose and independence.

I encourage you to move through your feelings and try to stay focused on your new life. Remaining focused on the past without allowing yourself time to process your feelings in a healthy way, can lead to prolonged feelings of depression and loss. I would recommend finding a counselor who can support your needs in talking through where you feel you are stuck and assist you in building and practicing mindfulness skills. This can assist you in building good self-care routines and in doing all you can for yourself in your time of healing.

When we are stuck, we often find ourselves looping around in "thought traps." Thought traps (also called cognitive distortions) keeps us stuck in our past, unable to appreciate the things we have now and leaves you without feelings of purpose, joy, and peace. Having a counselor to support you and listen can assist in identifying areas you are "stuck" in, any thought trap habits you may have developed, and support you in learning new ways to think about situations, leaving you with an increased ability to experience happiness again. Talk to your children, use your social support systems, and try to do something just for yourself on a daily basis (even if it's only half hour a day). Are there hobbies you used to enjoy? Are there hobbies you would like to try? Keeping yourself on a routine that includes good self-care can assist in improving your quality of life. I hope you find the peace you need and that you continue to reach out for support.